You Should Have a Therapist Like You Have a Family Doctor
"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." — Benjamin Franklin. He wasn't talking about therapy, but he could have been.
Nobody thinks it's strange to have a family doctor. You've probably had the same one for years. You go in for the big things, the small things, and the "this is probably nothing, but..." things. Your doctor knows your history, your family, what your blood pressure did last year, and what runs in your family. That relationship is just... normal.
So here's my question: why don't we treat therapy the same way?
We treat therapy like an emergency room
Most people only go looking for a therapist when they're already in crisis. And because there's no relationship in place, they have to start at zero — telling their whole story to a stranger, at the hardest moment of their life, hoping it's a good fit.
That's the hardest possible way to start. Imagine only ever meeting your doctor in the emergency room, a different one every time, re-explaining your entire medical history while you're in pain. We'd never accept that for our physical health. We accept it for our mental health all the time.
The model I was taught — and the one I don't use
In school, the model I was taught went like this: a client comes in with an issue, you work on the issue, the issue improves, you end the relationship. Clean, tidy, done.
I don't work that way, and I'll tell you why: life doesn't work that way.
Life doesn't send one problem at a time
You work through the anxiety, and you feel good — genuinely good. Then a parent gets sick. A job disappears. Your kid starts struggling. A marriage hits a wall it has never hit before.
When you already have a therapist, you don't start over. You don't fill out intake forms and re-explain your childhood to someone new. You reach out, we talk, and we pick up right where we left off — because I already know your story, what you've been through, and what works for you. We get to the real thing in the first five minutes, not the fifth session.
You don't have to be "bad enough"
Somewhere along the way, a lot of us picked up the idea that you need to be struggling enough to "deserve" a therapist. You don't wait until you're sick enough to deserve your doctor. A check-in when things are mostly fine is still worth having — sometimes that's exactly when the most useful conversations happen, because you're not spending the whole session putting out fires.
Some of my clients talk with me every week for a season. Some check in a few times a year. Some come back after two quiet years because life just did what life does. All of that is normal. That's the relationship working the way it's supposed to.
Start before you need it
That's the real shift I'm suggesting. Don't wait for the crisis to go shopping for a stranger. Build the relationship while things are steady, the same way you'd find a family doctor before you ever need surgery.
If you don't have "your" therapist yet, that's exactly what my free 15-minute consultation is for — a short conversation to see if I'm the right fit, with no pressure and no commitment. And if I am? Then I'm in your corner for whatever comes next, for as long as you need.
Ready to start? Your first step is a free 15-minute consultation — no pressure, no commitment. Book here.
Work for a small business without a benefits plan? Staff at partnered businesses get 25% off every session — at no cost to the employer. Here's how the Partnership Program works.